I'm just in the mood

[Edea]

God created woman:
Everyone thought God created man before woman. That is not true. In fact he created woman first, but with three boobs

God: So now that you are here how do you feel about yourself?
Eve: Well to be honest I feel alright, however I don't think I need this center boob.

God: We can correct that. There now how do you feel?
Eve: I feel great!

(Looking at her hand...)

Woman: Excuse me God?
God: Yes
Woman: Now what do I do with this usless boob?

***POOF***
Man was created.

A Woman's Ultimate Fantasy...
In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the respondents said that a woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

What gender is a computer?
A male of course...
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

Ok I think I got it out of my system. Enough for now.

http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif *http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif *http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[whiteangel]

This yime YOU asked for it  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

50 reasons why men are superior to women


1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work ... more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux or Kilt rental $100.00
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
18. Your pals can be trusted never to ask you, "So, notice anything different?"
19. One mood, ALL the damn time.
20. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
22. You can open all your own jars.
24. You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
25. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, you can still be friends.
28. Your underwear costs only $10 for a three-pack.
29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
31. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
33. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
34. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
35. No maxi-pads.
36. You don't mooch off other's desserts.
37. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
38. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
39. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
40. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
41. You almost never have strap problems in public.
42. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
43. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
44. You don't have to shave below your neck.
45. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
46. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
47. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
48. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
49. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
50. The world is your urinal

[Edea]

Meh! Those are what put me in the mood to start with!  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif

[whiteangel]

mmmk, whatever http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[emuxhaven]

hahah those are some good stuff http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif

[ksk h2o]

pfff....
of course god made man before woman, you allways make a rough draft before the masterpiece

http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/baaa.gif

i missed the smileys here http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif

[Edea]

Oh that was a good one ksk h2o  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif

[whiteangel]

most of the time the draft looks bettter than the cmpleted work tho http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif

[matt1freek]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">most of the time the draft looks bettter than the cmpleted work tho [/b][/quote]
so are u saying guys look better than women?.... &nbsp;i know i definately dig the ladies

[strider]

<font color='#000000'>tis true whiteangle. what were you thinking man?</font>

[whiteangel]

<table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td>Quote (matt1freek @ Sep. 13 2002,13:46)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><font color='#000000'><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">most of the time the draft looks bettter than the cmpleted work tho [/b][/quote]
so are u saying guys look better than women?.... *i know i definately dig the ladies</font>[/b][/quote]
<font color='#000000'>no, i just say males are perfection &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif

I don't like things too perfect though. That's boring http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif</font>

[strider]

<font color='#000000'>what? perfection? yeah right!
like every man is super fit or somethin</font>

[Whisp]

<font color='#000000'>Genesis says that Man was created first. Full stop. &nbsp;But the bible also says that we are all equal in God's image.

This is the gospel of the Lord

Just trying to change the subject from whiteangels situation.</font>

[Rodney Jason]

<font color='#000000'>http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif
http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif
LOL nice topic
http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif
http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif
http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif</font>

[Edea]

<font color='#000000'>BAH! (http://www.emuxhaven.net/cgi-bin/ikonboard/ikonboard.cgi?act=ST;f=7;t=7) &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif</font>

[Reina]

<font color='#000000'>uhm... I don't believe in "god" or anything like that... so most of that doesn't apply to me &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
<table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">17. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. [/b][/quote]
that was directed straight at me right?! http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif</font>

[strider]

<font color='#000000'>you gotta lay off the porno man http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif</font>

[matt1freek]

<font color='#000000'><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Quote &nbsp;
17. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. &nbsp;

that was directed straight at me right?! [/b][/quote]
lol &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif</font>

[The Player of Doom]

<font color='#000000'>Afaik, men were made after women http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
Why else would we have the 50 advantages? http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif</font>

[Reina]

<font color='#000000'>[Will never lay off porn]

I got this from a book... I forgot which though...

"God made man, God Rested, God Made Woman, God nor Man Rested Since."</font>

[strider]

<table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td>Quote (Slips @ Sep. 17 2002,03:32)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><font color='#000000'>[Will never lay off porn]</font>[/b][/quote]
<font color='#000000'>suit yourself man http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif</font>

[Whisp]

<font color='#000000'>WOw the diversity of this post has gone from predudice and discrimination, religious views, and then to porn. http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/eek.gif



Nice</font>

[Cero]

<font color='#736AFF'>Yea, few msg boards have members that can pull off such a thing. http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif</font>

[Reina]

<font color='#000000'>eheh... then it went from porn to talking about how the topic changed... http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/baaa.gif</font>

[brightman]

<font color='#000000'>And now it's talking about how the topic is talking about how its changing... &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/alien.gif</font>

[Rodney Jason]

<font color='#000000'>SlipsZero is "over porned" u should see what he set his info to on EmuXBot on IRC</font>

[The Player of Doom]

<font color='#000000'>And yet, even though they know that the discussion went off about the actual topic now, they continue to discuss it &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif</font>

[The Tick]

<font color='#000000'>I think http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rock.gif will just about cover it.</font>

[kcar181]

<font color='#000000'>1st off:

The jokes are &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rotflmao.gif

2nd:

You people are crazy.....hehe /me likies</font>