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View Full Version : Look out, Norway!

The Tick
03-20-2002, 04:45 AM
Mkay, here are the first couple of norwegian jokes!

Three men, one swede, one danish and one norwegian were working on a freighter boat in the pacific. One day, the boat sprung a leak and sunk.
The three men, being the only survivors, managed to safely get to land on a small island. After a few hours they were captured by a gang of canibals who lived on the island. The chief approached them and said in a broken english:
- We are not in need of food at the moment, but we need new canoes, and we shall use your skins to make them. But we are not savages, so we will allow you to kill yourselves any way you wish.
The swede and the danish asked for guns and shot themselves, but the norwegian asked for a fork. The canibals didn't understand why, but they gave him one anyway. As soon as he got it, he started stabbing himself in the stomach with it, screaming: YOU'LL NEVER MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME GODDAMMIT!!

And then there was the norwegian parking attendant who gave 592 parking tickets before she noticed she was in a drive in cinema.

(More to come....)
The Tick
03-20-2002, 06:43 AM
Ok, another genre of riddles around here are the "Bellman-jokes", which are all about the famous swedish poet Carl Mikael Bellman. Here's one:
There was a norwegian, a german and Bellman, and they were all bragging about how small their fathers were. The norwegian proudly stated that his father slept in a dresser drawer. The german said: Bah, my father sleeps in a matchbox. Then Bellman said: I don't have a father... He fell off a ladder and died when he was picking strawberries...
http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cwm2.gif  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cwm2.gif  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/alien.gif  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cwm2.gif  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cwm2.gif
Killer500
03-20-2002, 09:09 AM
can someone explain me that joke? http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif
anarki
03-20-2002, 09:13 AM
I heard the first one before  http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif
The Tick
03-20-2002, 02:27 PM
</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Killer500 @ Mar. 20 2002,08:09)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">can someone explain me that joke? http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif[/b][/quote]
Bah, Stabbing = Holes in stomach. That should explain it http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
metaphysics
03-20-2002, 02:56 PM
i think maybe he was talkin bout the second joke...
brightman
03-20-2002, 04:02 PM
Strawberries don't grow on trees, they grow in bushes, I think... So him using a ladder means he must be very small... http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif
metaphysics
03-20-2002, 05:11 PM
lol o ok i get it now...
kcar181
03-20-2002, 09:08 PM
hehe I like them...tho I have no clue who Bellman is http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/cry.gif
The Tick
03-21-2002, 10:27 AM
Hehe, he was a famous swedish poet and song writer. No need to know of him http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif
metaphysics
03-21-2002, 10:29 AM
by 'was' is he dead now ?...
brightman
03-21-2002, 06:06 PM
He died in 1795, Gimp... &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/rolleyes.gif
metaphysics
03-21-2002, 06:31 PM
oh whoops... wow that was sum time ago...
The Tick
03-25-2002, 01:38 AM
Wow, bright! I'm impressed! Most people here didn't even know who Astrid Lindgren was &nbsp;http://www.emuxhaven.net/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif